Dear ex
You dont exist. And to be honest, that probably cheeses me off more than if you had existed and dumped me cruelly. Or cheated on me. Because your slightly rude inability to exist lead to me spending my early 20s being very bitter towards most of my friends. Those who had love or had exs (exes? ex's?).
Ho well, I'm happy now, so we'll safey presume that you would have become an ex one day anyway. And thus your existence or lack of it is fairly insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
Love from Tony
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